Christmas 1999

Dear Friends,

All of you who know us well may not be surprised to hear Phil’s favorite saying (a.k.a. ‘The 6 P’s) is 'Prior Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance'. In other words, PLAN AHEAD!! To tell you the truth folks, I’ve recently been experiencing slight performance anxiety and it may have something to do with the fact that my favorite saying is more along the lines of “Drat, it’s time to go to Plan B.” So let’s call 1999 “the year of the plan” (or the year the plan went out the window) and allow me to share with you some of my finer planning moments.

We’ve had several people raise their eyebrows at our idea of responsible family planning, (in fact, you may be one of them!). Though it's hard to believe, Cam really was our own version of the ever-popular five-year plan. He was truly worth the wait. When not being smothered by his sibs, he is busy jet-setting around the country with Mom and Dad. He’s been to more places than Dr. Seuss - from the Rockies to the Boardwalk, and the Governor’s Palace to Cinderella’s castle. He sleeps 10 hours a night, smiles 10 hours a day, and flirts or feeds during the balance.

I don't blame you for questioning the planning when our oldest will hit puberty just as the youngest enters the terrible twos. But this year, we’re still in that honeymoon period where Kristen think we’re pretty close to perfect (or at least not too mortifying), and Cameron doesn’t know what a bad hair day is. Kris has really come into her own; she loves her new school and has discovered that socializing and scholarly pursuits need not be mutually exclusive. She is teetering between the tens and the teens with alternating requests to wear glitter to school and sleepers to bed.

Then there is the issue of vacation planning. What was I thinking when we went to the non-air-conditioned shore house during the worst heat wave since our wedding day? Between me being nine months pregnant and Phil putting his back out while trying to put the air conditioner in, we spent our week vacation drawing straws to be alone in the one room with air conditioning and a king size bed. The kids were thrilled to be told to “eat, drink, and be merry, just close the door quick so the cold air doesn’t leak out of our room!” WHADDAYAMEAN YA WANNA GO TO THE BEACH?? IT’S A HUNDREDDEGREESOUT!

The beach wasn’t the only thing that was hot this year…after wowing his fans as Snoopy and belting out a stirring rendition of Suppertime in a backyard production of Charlie Brown, Willie is currently rehearsing for the role of Rooster in a coming production of Annie. Like Rooster, he has a soft spot for shiny suits and an eye for an easy buck. But his taste in women is much more refined and, much to his sister’s shock, some of her friends are even asking for his number.

Then there was the holiday planning…okay, ‘fess up. Who was it? I know it was one of you. One of you told me that Thanksgiving is the perfect time to go to Disneyworld. No crowds…everyone is home with their families eating turkey. Well guess what. No one was home eating turkey with their families, they were all at Disney eating a $25 character breakfast with Mickey! And so were we.

Kevin really rocked in Disney when he conquered Space Mountain not once, but twice, despite a 103 degree fever (another example of my fondness for Plan B). Kev continues to love ketchup and hate girls, avoid showers and covet baseball cards. He’s developed a golf swing to rival Dad’s and now just needs to learn not to run to get to his next shot.

One of my personal favorites is the continually changing medical plan. As I called around early in the year seeking a pregnancy test which would involve someone else dipping the stick in the urine (I don’t like self-serve at the gas station either), I was frequently met with the ever-so-solicitous “WHATSYAPLAN ??” We continue to rely on the “PLAN” to finance the infinite refills on Nicole's asthma meds. Despite her cough, she is still better entertainment than A&E. Nicki likes to say it like it is. Last week she curled up next to Phil, waved her hand in front of her face, wrinkled her nose, and advised him “ a tic-tac wouldn’t kill ya!” Now in kindergarten, Nick has the sophistication of a fifteen year-old. Her most recent undertaking? Wedding plans. Her own. She recently informed me (in confidence) that she will be marrying the Backstreet Boys. I’ll see what I can do about getting you on the invite list.

As far as my own planning is concerned, I must confess that sleep deprivation was briefly revisited last summer. It was clear I'd hit rock bottom when I asked the kids to wait a few minutes while I went upstairs to eat the baby. I had a similar sinking sensation in my stomach when he was about two weeks old; someone asked his name, and I couldn’t remember.

As for Phil, well wouldn’t you love to know what the prince of prior preparation has planned for the millennium…

While we gear up for the year 2000, let me close by hoping that you and yours have a holiday filled with joy, and a new year filled with plans!

Love from us all,

Gretchen, Phil, Cam, Nicki, Kevin, Will, and Kris